Today I turned 50….

It’s funny I still feel like the little girl sitting in 3rd grade who all of the sudden got a funny sick feeling in her tummy when I realized the boy next to me was looking at me, and he was no longer yucky but maybe kinda cute.

Birthdays have always been a time of celebration, except 30. 30 was hard. I gained weight from babies, I didn’t have my mommy act in order, I definitely did not feel like that sexy 20 something, so that year I cried… a lot! I did fear the older birthdays, and in no way did I think they would come as fast as they did. That was the year I wrote my bucket list of things I thought would make me happy. A trip to Paris, a motorcycle, a home, pose in Playboy, a convertible, travel the Caribbean, travel alone, raise my children to be good human beings.

Then one day I woke up and there it was, 6 months until 50 and only 3 things crossed off my list….arghhhh turning 50 was def going to be scary. So that day I booked a retreat to New Orleans traveling alone. My nerves and stomach felt just like that day in 3rd grade. Goodness I’m scared! So I had the trip booked with no place to stay, and I didn’t know anyone else on the retreat I was going on. On the message board was this person Stormy and she needed a roommate, ok I said to myself I’ll ask her. She seemed nice enough in her response…uh oh she’s from London not the US, is she going to show?? Is she some wild crazy chick??? What am I doing?? All questions running through my mind…

So the retreat comes and I am extremely pleased that Stormy is a nice, normal girl with a vibrant personality and a warming smile. She immediately made me feel like we were best friends forever. We talked about family and the places we lived. I told her of my momentous birthday and my list. She then talked me into a shoot… convincing me she would go slow and at my pace. She guided me through poses and made me laugh the entire time. Never once did I question what I was doing, we were playing like two little girlfriends at a sleep over party. My session with her was about 45 mins. After it was done I felt pretty confident in myself. No longer were the mommy stretch marks or the wrinkles on my face in my mind. I felt strong, I felt confident, hell I felt 20 something again. No bottle of cream or new pair of red soles has ever made me feel like this! She helped me obtain the most amazing gift for my birthday, confidence in myself again! Something I never would have dared to write on my bucket list at 30, because I thought that was the one thing that was unobtainable.

Thank you Stormy. You’ve made me feel beautiful and full of life, and I will live the second half of my life with as much youth as my first! These images are only proof that beauty is all in your mind, and a smile is the sexiest thing you can wear! ~ xo